Parade.. Live a life of love

The flaming sight of my passion
crossing a thousand dreams
passing over the inhuman beasts,
I seize the world in my hands.

The clouds scatter,
and the sun sets again.
This one-man parade starts to move.

Adventure.
Lucky days.
Trails.
Climbing.
Light and darkness.
Encounters.
Life.
Mutual love...

-- How I know these all too well..

And this is why, this is goodbye

it's trivial to be so different when you hide behind a different name. does the change of name perhaps, couple with it a change of attitude? and if it's just change for show, for appearances, then i would understand. but real change?

it doesn't suit you. but of course, i may not be the best person to say that. for what are we now? us and our strange and estranged relationship. did i tell you i was sorry? of course i did. a million times, and perhaps more than i should have. but i guess, my sorries were for naught. sincerity is nothing in the face of a frozen, unbeating heart. how chilling. how thick, a lace of frost you've made to cradle your dead heart.

i may deserve all of this i know, and i have endured only because of the thought and perhaps hope that someday, the space that i created between us i could bridge by my efforts. But Seishun Kyousoukyoku, however wonderful and inspiring a song tells all my lament in the facade of jovial rhythm and hopeful words. perhaps, my heart knew that i could never heal what has transpired. but i knew that i had to try because you were the person that i could not bear to have asunder.

but my you have grown spiteful. and the mouth that used to smile with every little idiocy that we make would not curl upwards no longer. the warm face that i held dear in memory is now devoid of all. stoic. so god damn stoic.

i have lost many a good friend in my lifetime. but i must admit that the loss of you is the greatest and most enfeebling of all. i know that there is nothing to change. even if i will it by force. your animosity is too strong an aura for me to infiltrate.

so this shall be the last. so long dear friend. we shall be strangers as we were when we started when this song sings silent:

Hikarabita kotoba wo tsunaide
Stringing together stale words
Sore demo bokura SIMPLE na
Even so, all we want to do
Omoi wo tsutaetai dake nano
Is to share simple thoughts
Fukinukeru kusunda ano hi no kaze wa
The tickling wind blowing through today
Kinou no haikyo ni uchisutete
Is abandoning the ruins of yesterday
Kimi to warau ima wo ikiru no da
Laughing with you, now we're alive


Sore demo ano dekigoto ga kimi wo kurushimeru daro?
Even so, that incident torments you doesn't it?
Dakara koso sayonara nanda
And that is why this is goodbye

Kono mama nanimo nokorazu ni
Just like that, leaving nothing behind
Anata to wakachiau dake
Just sharing with you
Yagate bokura wa sore ga subete da to ki ga tsuite
Soon we will realize that that was everything
Kanashimi wa hoho wo tsutatte
The sadness going along the cheeks
Namida no kawa ni naru dake
Will only become a river of tears
Yureru omoi wa tsuyoi uzu ni natte
Wavering thoughts will melt into
Tokeau no yo
A strong swirl


Iradachi toka sukoshi kurai no kodoku da toka wa
Irritation and just a little solitude
Ittai sore ga bokura ni totte
Just what exactly is it to us?
Nan' datten daro?
Ima wa DRAMA no naka janain da ze
We're not in the middle of a drama, you know
"Nee, dou dai?"
"Hey, how's it?"
Sono koe ni bokura furikaette mo
That voice.. even if we turn around
Dare mo inai daro?
Nobody's there right?
Dakara koso bokura takaraka ni sakebu no da
And that is why we will scream in roaring voices


Sore demo bokura no koe wa doko nimo todokanai daro?
But even so, our voices won't reach anywhere will they?
Dakara koso sayonara nanda
And this is why this is goodbye

Soshite mata toki wa nagarete
And so again time will go by
Anata to wakachiau dake
Sharing it with only you
Yagate bokura wa sore ga subete da to ki ga tsuite
Soon we will realize that that was everything
Kanashimi wa hoho wo tsutatte
The sadness going along the cheeks
Hitosuji no uta ni naru dake
Will become an ernest poem
Yureru omoi wa tsuyoi uzu ni natte
Wavering thoughts will melt into a strong swirl
Tokeau no yo, tokeau no yo
They'll melt..

Fukinukeru kusunda ano hi no kaze wa
The tickling wind blowing through today
Kinou no haikyo ni uchisutete
Is abandoning the ruins of yesterday

Kono mama nanimo nokorazu ni
Just like that, leaving nothing behind
Anata to wakachiau dake
Just sharing with you
Soshite anata wa ima ga subete da to ki ga tsuite
And so you realized that now is everything
Kanashimi wa hoho wo tsutatte
The sadness going along the cheeks
Namida no kawa ni naru dake
Will only become a river of tears
Soshite bokura wa awai umi ni natte
And so we will become a pale ocean
Tokeau no yo
Melting together..
Tokeau no yo
Melting together..
Tokeau no yo
Melting together..


Yagate bokura wa sore ga subete da to ki ga tsuite
Soon we will realize that that was everything
Yagate bokura wa kanashimi ga hoho wo tsutau koto wo oboete
Soon we will remember the sadness going along the cheeks
Yagate bokura wa, yagate bokura wa
Soon we will... soon we will...
Anatagata to tokeau wake desu yo
We will melt together with all of you
Tokeau wake desu yo
Melt together...

------
The saddest farewell to you DB. It shouldn't have been this way. But it is. And I am sorry.
-your Luna

the red cups have come!

with saturday's final exams over and done with, cisco is finally over! and the verdict? i passed both ccna1 and ccna2. and i'm glad to say that i did just as well for ccna2 as i did during ccna1. cy and i went out to celebrate sunday afternoon by having our favorite crepes at cafe breton podium. i was a bit thirsty from the short walk over so i decided to cool down with a starbucks frap next door and lo and behold! the red cups have come! my favorite cold drink of all time, starbuck's peppermint mocha frappucino is back! and how welcome it is!

look at those sprinkles!

make my first peppermint of the year a venti please!

2 years

cy,

here's to two wonderful years and a lifetime more.

you are stellar!

-rese
--------

Sonnet XVII

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

In a standstill

my mind is someplace else. at least that's one certainty at the moment. the foreground blends all too well into the background that i don't have to blame my usual, selective dyslexia at incomprehension. my mom's come over to visit. and the feeling of accompanying her to wherever she fancies is so strong that it makes my guilt at having to be in ccna training all the more blatant. preferrably, i would have stayed at home and studied on my own. there is nothing worthwhile in the lectures anyway. everything i need to know is found elsewhere, in the book they gave us to use for training, in the interactive web material i downloaded off their site and when all else fails, i have only to type google or wikipedia on my browser and all's well again. thus far, i have been keeping my module exams straight 100s, so i'm sure that i can manage. the only thing worth coming to ust for, are the laboratory sessions. unfortunately, the uninviting laboratory has all the equipment that could put all the theories i have learned so far to work.

but my rant of course, downplays the fact that i miss home. and mama being here magnifies that fact to a point where it robs all competence, drive and focus in me to finish this training.

i had initially planned to fly home for the holidays but the training got move so that it ends on the 31st of october so i had to scratch my intended vacation dates off my starbucks planner. it didn't bother me then but giving that a second look, i'm surprised i had the courage to cross the dates off. what in the world was i thinking? i couldn't be any more melancholic.

i'm signing off this post with a quote..

Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.
-John Howard Payne (1791 - 1852)