Brand New Eyes

There's nothing like getting something other than what you expected. Most of the time, it is a source of agitation as you get thrown off your comfort zone and you're forced to recalibrate and adapt or at the very least to cope with the situation. But this time, it was a welcome disconcertment. Although the whole thing brought to mind the old adage 'Be careful what you wish for', I was glad that it was just a glimpse and not something permanent.

The 6 weeks that I spent in the US gave me one of the biggest intangible lessons of my life. And although it was a comfortable plane right that brought me there, it might as well have been a hurricane because the first thought that I had the moment I landed back was 'There's no place like home.' Scarecrow, Lion, Tin Man, Witches and Wizards aside, the trip back home (which coincided with the new year) equipped me with brand new eyes.

It's probably my biggest take-away from the trip. And I'm tons glad because it means that I'm not simply aging.

ichi ni san yon go!

happy 5th.

おめでとうございます！

~ oracion seis

my prayer...

i feel that the day when i'll finally be able to forgive myself, will never come

unaffected

you were my eleanor. but now that i've figured you out and just what it is exactly that binds me to you, i am left demystified. my disappointment and apparent relief leaves something to be desired.

now i am not as blinded as i once was, by the red hot summer sun.

farewell my eleanor, my pegasus, my unicorn. i am moving on finally to more real matters.

~

the chase has left me breathless and exhilarated. and now, i am finally turning away from you. towards gravity and the ground.

i've always wanted to write a story or a novel before i died. in fact, it's on my bucket list. whether it gets published later on or remains hidden from the public, carefully tucked away beneath the pages of one of my journals is a non-issue. what is of import is that i did get to write it.

i've had the notion of calling it "songs about jane". something about a whole trimester's worth of listening only to maroon5's first album which was named as such, the coincidence of my messenger id being maryjane_doe11 of which during that time became a a medium of life-turning series of conversations. true to form, i'm thinking of naming each chapter after a song in the album. of course, it goes without saying that the tone of the chapter would more or less have some sort of pun or relation to the title of the song. symmetry and all that.

well, that has been the plan.

a friend of mine writes better when he's drunk. inspiration in a bottle and calories to boot. how convenient. how i wish i had something of the sort.