i'm learning to love to hate it...

everything's a love hate relationship...

what is after all everything in its entirety if not a giant double-sided coin?

finally...

finally...
i have regained typing decency after turning in the usual qwerty keyboard scheme for dvorak. i can now continue putting my thoughts into words as i string them to completion letter by letter on a new keyboard scheme thanks to a new found agility of my fingers.
so...
what do i write about? do i write about the ball game a couple of friends, hubby and i watched yesterday as we incessantly cut up miguel who was the only atenean in the group piece by piece amidst hecklers with their verbal violence and die-hards with mounting animo vied for their teams?
or...
should i write about the kitchie nadal/cynthia alexander gig my cousins, hubby and i watched during June 24 at Hard Rock Cafe and try to elaborate on the artists' musical stylings that captivated everyone as hubby and i held hands under the table.
maybe...
i can try to give descriptive justice to the lillium that hubby gave me during our 8th month as a couple last june 30.
perhaps...
i'll write about my new job instead. stark differences are hard not to notice and in my case, hard not to appreciate as i now can leave the office as early as 5pm (as opposed to the daily average of 10pm at hmmmmm, alright no names. i have flamed them too many times already).
but...
it's a pity that i can no longer recall the many topics i have lingered on during my flight to bacolod. i know that i made sense about something but memory is an uncooperative ally most of the time.
finally...
i replace my haphazard thoughts back to the mind that hosts them and decide to write about nothing instead.

Kombucha

The kombucha mushroom people,
Sitting around all day,
Who can believe you,
Who can believe you,
Let your mother pray, (sugar)
Well I'm not there all the time you know
Some people, some people, some people,
Call it insane, yeah they call it insane, (sugar)
I play Russian roulette everyday, a man's sport,
With a bullet called life, yeah called life,(sugar)
You know that every time I try to go
Where I really want to be,
It's already where I am,
Cause I'm already there.(sugar)
The kombucha mushroom people,
Sitting around all day,
Who can believe you,
Who can believe you,
Let your mother pray, (sugar)
I got a gun the other day from Sako,
It's cute, small, fits right in my pocket,
Yeah, right in my pocket, (sugar)
My girl, you know, she lashes out at me sometimes,
And I just kick her, and then she's O.K. ,she's O.K.(sugar)
People are always chasing me down,
Trying to push my face to the ground,
Where all they really want to do,
Is suck out my mother f**king brains, my brains (sugar).
The kombucha mushroom people,
Sitting around all day,
Who can believe you,
Who can believe you,
Let your mother pray
I sit, in my desolate room, no lights, no music,
Just anger,
I've killed everyone,
I'm away forever, but I'm feeling better,
How do I feel,
What do I say,
F**k you, it all goes away,
How do I feel,
What do I say,
F**k you, it all goes away,
How do I feel,
What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel,
What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel,
What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel,
What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel,
What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
How do I feel,
What do I say,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away,
In the end it all goes away.

helena - my chemical romance

can't this song out of my head.. fell in love with it on my first listen.

this is for you gaia. misu!

Long ago
Just like the hearse, you die to get in again
We are so far from you

Burning on, just like a match you strike te incinerate
The lives of everyone you know
And what’s the worst you take (worst you take)
From every heart you break (heart you break)
And like a blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well, I've been holding on tonight

What’s the worst that I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long not goodnight

Came a time
When every star falls
Brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold
And what’s the worst you take (worst you take)
From every heart you break (heart you break)
And like a blade you stain (blade you stain)
Well, I've been holding on tonight

Well, if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long not goodnight

Can you hear me
Are you near me
Can we pretend to leave and then
We’ll meet again, when both our cars collide

the void

i woke up.
and i was alone again....
no more pain.
i could be myself again.

thank you god!

but not quite no.
i'll miss you.

even if
i know that i'll meet you again.
even if
i know that i'll house you under my skin again.
even if
i could call you by some other name.

i'll miss you...
gaia.
he'll miss you too....
lucien.
we'll miss you...
renji.

but for now, we're alright.
for now, we're fine.
for now, let's stay as we are.
for now, let's be strangers...