2:19 and it starts. i feel it. the weight. i've been carrying it around way too far than i should that i thought that i had gotten used to the feel of it. but now. i'm fully cognizant. and the concrete is pulling me down hard. don't get me wrong though. the guy who put his hand on you has got nothing to do with me.
and i hope in whispers, gravid and eager, that the bruises that i feel will heal. but it doesn't and i suspect that it never really shall. it acts swiftly, mostly in unexpected bursts. and it gnaws, eating me up inside. i wish i still had my lighter. i used to give it nervous flicks to keep out the inevitable. like a deep breath before the plunge..
pardon my retreat. some great need in me is starting to bleed..
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
the power of chalk
the 3rd term for sy 2005-06 officially ended monday, course card day. i got a fair range of reactions from my students. but between frustration and relief (and the infinite permutations that connect the two extremes of this particular continuum) i think most of my students felt the latter. which is good since i have seen lab reports and exams that tell me that the larger part of my classes learned what they had to. never mind the secret messages that aren't so secret in the reports that they pass to me every week. some containing 'best teacher', 'thank you's and even a 'happy valentines' on february. and i could play stupid and ignore the fact that they have been trying to take pictures of me (which i try with outmost innocence to avoid by retreating to the lab in search for new parts 'just in case they needed some'). and for those who didn't want to take pictures, they contented themselves with printing (i know... total lack of ink) the picture off my yearbook's cd copy.
of course, i was beside myself when my students actually thanked me for their grades. in which case i would put on a straight face and tell them that i only computed them.
yes, this term turned out great. more than great actually. (and the chair of our dept has assured me that i got high ITEO results too! well that and that he's pumping up more load for me next term which is what i want..)
but enough of next term. right now i have to concentrate on the lecture i am to give on monday on robotics summer camp. dlsu has one every summer. i'm tackling robotics via lego. and i really have to prep up on this one since the last time i touched a lego robotics invention system was in 3rd yr college. way, way back in college. i have to carefully lay out what i'll be saying as i'll be discussing for 3 hours. i really, really have to prep up otherwise i'd have to rename this entry the power of choke (which of course i'm hoping i won't need to).
i've still a lot to talk about but i have to halt for now. priorities are priorities and perhaps, i'm not that indecisive anymore.
mental note: does that mean i'll have to change my blog?
of course, i was beside myself when my students actually thanked me for their grades. in which case i would put on a straight face and tell them that i only computed them.
yes, this term turned out great. more than great actually. (and the chair of our dept has assured me that i got high ITEO results too! well that and that he's pumping up more load for me next term which is what i want..)
but enough of next term. right now i have to concentrate on the lecture i am to give on monday on robotics summer camp. dlsu has one every summer. i'm tackling robotics via lego. and i really have to prep up on this one since the last time i touched a lego robotics invention system was in 3rd yr college. way, way back in college. i have to carefully lay out what i'll be saying as i'll be discussing for 3 hours. i really, really have to prep up otherwise i'd have to rename this entry the power of choke (which of course i'm hoping i won't need to).
i've still a lot to talk about but i have to halt for now. priorities are priorities and perhaps, i'm not that indecisive anymore.
mental note: does that mean i'll have to change my blog?
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