happy birthday!

in gradual increments of years, i have turned 22. last year in celebration of my birthday, my cousins and i went scuba diving. last sunday however, it was as cy put it "all about me" (which is synonymous to all about cy or all about cy and i because what we have is a wonderful and at times almost comical mathematical transitivity. so we did whatever i wanted to do (which was anything and nothing) after estre and leng dropped off a delicious box of chocolate goodies from cheesecake etc at my apartment. i was craving for some heaven... and eggs so off we went to the month old branch of heaven n' eggs at glorietta.i had my usual bagel benedict and cy had his phad singapura. after that, i bought myself a fossil classic leather strap watch and cy bought me
a kamiseta jacket (which i am wearing as im composing this post). due to cy's request of having our picture taken (which has been put off for the longest time since i'm a bit camera shy), we had our first picture taken as a couple after being an item a month shy of a year! hahaha talk about procrastination. anyway, we watched cinderella man afterwards (which is, as expected of russell crowe movies very exceptional in its storyline, balance of emotional play and cinematography). we went home saturated with a bit of euphoria and like most days we spend together talked about anything and nothing and everything in between.

the fusion of the day's simplicity and the aberrant greetings and surpices that freckled it are i guess what made it a memorable birthday for me. not to mention this other gift that cy gave me.

happy birthday to me!

*this post is 3 days late. kekeke. talk yet again of procrastination

the perfect man - 1

the perfect man must exist there somewhere. he has to. or at least a great number of the sample female population think that he does. that accounts for at least three heartbreaks in the search for "the one" until finally settling for someone else. but should they settle? or perhaps, maybe the question should be, should we even bother looking for "the one"?

i've already gone through 2 serious heartbreaks.. does that mean that if shit hit the fan and my current relationship falls apart, i am bound to settle for something less?

i am without a doubt a critic and a cynic. but as with most things, there is always an exception. in my case, i am not my usual jaded self when it comes to love. and in reflection, it is most ironic that someone like me believes in the birth of two souls in one. indeed, most ironic that someone like me believes in a perfect love and subsist in a perfect imperfection of an existence.

being web crawler that i am, i stumbled across http://www2.discoveryhealth.co.uk/perfectman/index.shtml?fromemail=yes&back=3,4,4,2 which said that i could create my perfect man! a whole load of bull. but it did strike my curiousity so i proceeded albeit doubtful that i would indeed give birth to my perfect someone.

Your perfect man is resourceful and self-sufficient. With his friends and family he is strong

and passionate. In situations of conflict he is very persuasive and can always talk people round
to his point of view. He is adventurous and highly physical.

Career wis your Perfect Man measures his success by happiness and quality of life. Though
not really intellectual he's streetwise and not short of common sense. He may work in
finance or a scientific field such as medicine.

Your Perfect Man is in touch with his emotions and women are drawn to his idealism and
commitment to his beliefs. As far as communication is concerned your Perfect Man is not one for
histrionics or melodrama! He likes to identify a problem and solve it with minimum fuss.
He may not marry until well into his 30s but when he does will marry for life. He is
usually a sensual and extravagant lover.

whoooOK.... not exactly the type i was expecting but hey, he's guaranteed to be perfect. ASA! Give him to the dumps and see my next post for my real perfect man.

the ghost of you

The Ghost of You
-My Chemical Romance

I never said I'd lie and wait forever
If I died we'd be together
I can't always just forget her
But she could try

Ever...
Get the feeling that you're never
All alone and I remember now
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
She dies

If I fall…
If I fall…
(Down)

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I?
Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna...

lilium

my better half surprised me with a bouquet of lilium today. and there wasn't even a special occassion! ah. you always knew what makes me smile.. they're my favorite and they are i believe, the fifth you gave me ever since we got together.

a month to go and it's going to be a wonderful year...

hah! and a certain someone said it wouldn't last. i guess. you are wrong like you are wrong about most things about him, about me, about us being together.

anyway.. i will wake up to the smell of paradise in the morning. when the liliums bloom.

anathema

it is beyond reason, i suppose, emotions that stir as if they had a consciousness of their own. and if there is none left more tangible to blame, i can always point my finger at god. time is lacking in my quest to cleanse myself of stains i deliriously wish i had no longer. i can write and put my frustration into many a four letter word and yet i still my tongue. i hush my whole being almost as if i wish for a moment to sink into sweet oblivion. but the strap of my tether can loosen no more and i am held between reality and an arm's reach beyond nepenthe. to sink deeper or surface, i wish to do neither. i want to make a home for my self in the obscure middle of things. a certain strange comfort. a perfect stranger that is a stranger no more.

somewhere in the middle. you know where to find me.