Bella Luna - Jason Mraz

Mystery the moon
A hole in the sky
A supernatural nightlight
So full but often right
A pair of eyes a closin' one
A chosen child of golden sun
A marble dog that chases cars
To farthest reaches of the beach and far beyond into the swimming sea of stars

A cosmic fish they love to kiss
They're giving birth to constellation
No riffs and oh no reservation
If they should fall you get a wish or dedication
May I suggest you get the best
For nothing less than you and i
Let's take a chance as this romance is rising over before we lose the lighting
Oh bella bella please
Bella you beautiful luna
Oh bella do what you do

You are an illuminated anchor
Of leads to infinite number
Crashing waves and breaking thunder
Tiding the ebb and flows of hunger
You're dancing naked there for me
You expose all memory
You make the most of boundary
You're the ghost of royalty imposing love
You are the queen and king combining everything
Intertwining like a ring around the finger of a girl
I'm just a singer, you're the world
All I can bring ya
Is the language of a lover
Bella luna, my beautiful
How you swoon me like no other

May I suggest you get the best
Of your wish may I insist
That no contest for little you or smaller i
A larger chance happened, all them they lie
On the rise, on the brink of our lives
Bella please
Bella you beautiful luna
Oh bella do what you do
Bella luna, my beautiful
How you swoon me like no other

**
oh my. my thanks mr. a-z

perspective pries my once weighty eyes and it gives me wings

i guess it must really be hard to see past anything beyond the sight of your own two eyes. harder still because you refuse to see anything else lest the truth incapacitate you for all that you are worth. you turn to anything, rage, despair and the all too chronic reason for anything that defies reason and denies scrutiny: faith. yes, the omnipotent is perhaps the greatest of all allies one can get when facing such a violent truth. yes, it gives the greatest placebo effect of all. apparently, in the ecstacy of divine intervention, one can talk of understanding without acceptance. as if the two were even separable!

yes, people fall out of love. but it is not such a tragedy, not more other than being the other side of the coin of falling in love. what amazes me is how one can talk of such an affliction (falling out of love) when the premise (to fall out of love the existence of love must at first hold true) is nothing but a fabrication of your own make. a reality conditioned to be so and then later referred to as serendipity at work. tell me, is it a part of serendipity to make yourself as visible as possible to someone you like until they finally get to see you in the fashion that you wish to? i don't know how you do it. become a returning customer for his cd burning business, call him up and ask them to come by to fix your pc, ask the whole class to tease both of you. that would definitely get his attention i suppose (why not write 'i like you' in your generous forehead instead?). yes. that's real serendipity at work. at least now, when i'll think about lady luck, i'll have a definite muse in mind.

if i'm lucky, i'll not be misunderstood as you read between the lines. take those goddamn blinders off your eyes. nothing can twist the truth more than understanding only the parts that do not hurt you. selective understanding is not understanding at all.

Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss
-Mr Brightside, The Killers

Misunderstanding is very easy to do, and can create catastrophe out of nothing.

This is my opinion, whether you agree with it or not.

But I have the right to express them.

defragmentation (or more appropirately, the lack of it)

i need mental catharsis. i really need to get my thoughts sorted and then carefully tuck them in labelled boxes inside my head. i don't need another day of jumbled musings i can't argue myself either out of or into. it cripples my efficiency tenfold.

blame it on a bad synapse feeding immediate sensory perception into faculty of reason. i need my sanity. i need a peppermit mocha frappucino. i need perspective to pry my weighty eyes. i need it to give me wings.

Introversion

I grew up around a lot of people but somehow at school, I never got the lot of making fast friends. Nor numerous ones. I had a couple, not enough to occupy every finger on a hand but they were for keeps. For a time, I came to think, and just naturally so that the quantity of your friends speak about you as a person. You could imagine my insecurity at having only so little that it came to a point that I mused if I was a bad person. I was a good student not only in an academic light. I was on the honor's list, I got sent to writing competions to represent the school and i won, i was in the volleyball varsity team. yes, i was perhaps a good student but that did not exempt me from pulling a good prank or two. All in all, i was a good specimen of holistic development yet why is it that i had only a number of friends? This of course, led me to observe those that had a lot. Let's just say that the my observation did not encourage my need to have more friends and so my attention was turned to possible underlying facts that might explain why it is that i have a few friends.

It was only in college that I learned psychology and true enough, I got my answer however late. an introvert is someone who find other people tiring, or at least that's my definition of it. introverts are not necessarily shy. shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in social settings. introverts also, are not misanthropic but i go along with sarte as far as to say that "Hell is other people at breakfast." Given of course that they're not my friends.

anyway, i'm glad that an exhaustive research via google search reveals that i am not alone. but, it is undeniable that i am part of the minority (25% that is to be exact). a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population - as proved by studies that introverts process information differently than other people. introverts tend to be more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive. introverts tend to think before talking while others think by talking. and i'm not making this up. i quote Jonathan Rauch on that.

anyway, this puts loads off my back after being called a loner or isolated at the office. if you bump into me, be sure to: one, understand that my being an introvert is not a choice, it is an orientation, two, never ask me if i'm alright or what's the matter when you see me lost in thought and lastly, don't say anything else either. hehehe.

i'm fine. you're fine. in small doses.

after 3 years of wearing long hair. i cut it short again. surprisingly, cy didn't mind like i thought he would. i know it wasn't right but it felt soooo good.

incubus' nice to know you was playing at the back of my mind while i watched my hair fall to the floor. i shut my eye. i could swear i could hear the sea.

my descent from the moon

i have come to realize that perhaps the sea is more captivating than the moon. i have also come to realize that surf is a better personification of me than the night's pale eye. farewell to the night. farewell to my place in the sky.

i am my own silent world.
i rush to your shores and withdraw in white foams of graceful undulation.
always with the promise of return.

you only know me to the deepest that Cousteau went in his lifetime.

re: faculty of the college of computer studies, dlsu-manila

i think i conducted the class well. i was nervous for the first few minutes but it surprisingly died down after i found my voice. i was even able to display a bit of wit when i lay down my house rules. lolz!

by the time i got to the faculty room, i counted a sizable number of students greeting me along the hallway. how cool is that!? i guess news does spread rather quickly. hehehehe

i'm eager for my next class on friday.

stellar

meet me in outer space

last night, cy and i had a very long talk galvanized from one item in my previous post titled '3'. yes, i want to write a book. it may not be something significant and i can't even guarantee that it would be of any real consequence to this world but still i hope that i'd be able to do it simply because it matters to me.

i have yet to think of a plot, the characters and such but on the large part, i am entirely confident that i'd be able to think of it all in due time. i guess, abstractly, i have already something in mind. it would be nothing but a series of musings inspired from significant events in my life. and i am thankful that although admittedly not a part of the whole of it, cy has offered to help me remember parts of it.

and thus we came to discuss beginnings and progression.

it might be the only way that i can show you how it feels to be...

it was when i asked him how it is that he came to notice me that i was most uplifted. although i always considered him to be stellar, (because of a certain history of that song way back in our canon days concerning winpop-ups) for a brief moment, i was incarnated from lunar to stellar.

how do you do it? make me feel like i do

stellar. that was his analogy. it doesn't fit the traditional form of a song and it might take a second hear for someone to fully appreciate the beauty of its composition. but the more you hear it, the more clearly you see how each instrument fits to form the whole of it. it is in its demystification that it is most beautiful, transcending everything to crystal clear clarity.

you are stellar

now, i give you back the title of stellar as i fall down a step to become lunar. but know that that brief moment is most appreciated.

faculty of the college of computer studies, dlsu-manila

today i'll be heading back to school again. although this time, not as a student but as a teacher! last saturday, i had my teaching demo and my interview and i was glad 2 hours later to know that i've met the qualifications and that they'd be happy to have me as a part time faculty member. today will be my first class for the trimester(3rd sem sy 2005-06 started wed, jan 04). i'd been given 6 units to handle, linclab (linear circuits laboratory) and commlab (electronics and communications laboratory). i was to be given 2 lecture classes initially but there was a conflict with the schedule of my current job (as i'd be keeping it and teaching part time and the cto actually encouraged me to take the job at dlsu!) so i opted for the next best thing, on a time table basis of course.

so i'll be having my thesis adviser as the chair of ccs-ct (that's college of computer studies, computer technology department) and my previous teachers as my co-faculties. how mental is that? the best thing about this is that it is completely in stride with my plans of taking up a masteral. not only that, for a given period of teaching residency, i'll be getting discounts on tuition (currently 50% but reaching sizable increments of up to 100% depending on residency). but masteral is another story and it's not one that's exactly around the corner (but i guess it is inevitable) so i'll be focusing on teaching for now.

as a by-the-way, cy and i went to robinson's place manila afterwards to celebrate. we ate at chef's (my treat) and i bought a kamiseta blouse, cy bought me a plains and prints blouse (thank you!), played dota at elim's and we even saw an advance screening of the chronicles of narnia:the lion, the witch and the wardrobe (it was captivating). so the whole saturday for me was a natural yet eternal high.

anyway, come noon, i'll be heading to taft... good luck to me!

3

a friend of my asked me a collection of questions of which i am to give 3 answers.

here goes:

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1 Therese
2 Rese
3 Tere

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1 I adapt. Easily.
2 I can excel in almost anything I do.
3 I can express myself. Verbally or otherwise.

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1 I Procrastinate
2 I am the most indecisive person I know
3 I have unbelievable mood swings

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1 Good genes
2 Great Family ties
3 A good name

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1 Losing someone important suddenly
2 Dying not having done anything significant in this world
3 Being deemed unable or inadequate by people important to me

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1 A bath
2 Intellectual stimulation
3 A moment for myself

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1 Red Madrid Birk
2 'France' my Addidas jacket
3 DKNY timepiece

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS AT PRESENT:
1 Incubus
2 Maroon5
3 Dave Matthew's Band

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1 Stellar
2 A Lifetime
3 Just Feel Better


THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1 Continue learning guitar
2 Finish my portfolio
3 Go somewhere I haven't been yet

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1 Honesty
2 Romance
3 Good Convesation - Good conversations, Good silences

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: (figure out which is which)
1 I am a living contradiction
2 I like pink
3 I surprise even myself

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1 Eyes
2 Shoulders
3 Lips

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1 Be in a relationship just for the sex
2 Placidly accepting anything - everything is subject to scrutiny, reason and argument first
3 Be angry at someone forever

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1 Aimless musings
2 Aimless conversations
3 Games/sports

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1 Decline Sir Jan his job offer and tell him to stick it up his ***
2 Go on a well earned vacation
3 Tell Papa that I'm sorry

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1 Designing
2 Teaching
3 Law?

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1 Japan
2 Spain
3 Egypt

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1 Gaia
2 Lucien
3 Cillian (not sure yet as Cy and I discussed that we'd only have 2)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1 Prove some particular people that B***e isn't the only way to go
2 Raise creative intelligent, passionate and morally upright children
3 Write a book

Sonnet LXVI

I do not love you--except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
from waiting to not waiting for you
my heart moves from the cold into the fire.
I love you only because it's you I love;
I hate you no end, and hating you
bend to you, and the measure of
my changing love for you
is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe the January light will consume
my heart with its cruel
ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
because I love
you,
Love, in fire and in blood.


-- Pablo Neruda

monch

for making you wait.
for leaving you hanging.
for making you give up.
for making you feel less than what you are.
for making it so that it is past the point of apology.
for making it so that it is beyond the bounds of friendship.

i'm sorry and i god damn miss you.