i've always been a dreamer. i spent most of my highschool classroom time one foot inside a world of my own make. i've got journals upon journals of a mixture of naivete, stupidity and sometimes, uncommon wisdom for a girl of 13. i also have a sketchbook filled with people and things and places i've never seen except with my mind's eye. looking back, i am amazed how i managed to sneak myself into the honor's list considering that i always took a seat that was comfortably near a window or if one wasn't available, a seat next to the door. most of my classmates chose their seats on the basis of who they wanted to sit next to. not me. it didn't matter who i sat next to or who took the seat next to mine (since i'm not much of a talker anyway). what was essential was that i got the seat with the view.
the highschool classrooms were surrounded by trees. pine to be exact. and while they made a classmate of mine change sections because they made her itch, i've always been thankful for their company. the pines, with the sky behind them stood for a world beyond the corners of the room that held me captive from 7.30 - 4.40 for 5 days of the week. that, if anything, i think is what strengthened my affinity for them. they always made me feel that there was something more than what ever it was i was faced with. english and chemistry or physics. and during 4th year highschool, nsat and the anxiety of college.
i do not know what has become of my friends by the windows. i do not know whether they have been cut down to make way for a new building or if they have been left alone with their crystalline backdrop. how would i since i've never set foot on my highschool alma mater since i marched her halls as a graduate. i always saw them standing tall, and that is how i'll remember my pines by the windows to be.
melancholic how a highschool reunion two fridays ago could stir up images of myself i thought lost. the dreamer that was me is in deep slumber, the wordsmith in me silent. the pines long for the girl that always sat beside the window.