there's got to be more than this
today i woke up the usual hour i usually do when i have work ahead of me. the hated 9 am. i lay in bed. kept my eyes closed and my mind open. surely, surely there is more to this life than what i have now. i know there is. so today, i decided to find out for myself.
i played hookie. (bad rese! bad!!!) should have gotten some ice cream to come along with it but hey, i don't do cliches. i reached for my mobile on top of the aircon (where i usually put it when im at home) and tried to turn the wheels in my head. i had to come up with a good one. subtle and nothing too bogus. just believable. luckily i was having a sorry case of running nose two days back. (you wouldn't know the embarrassment i felt sneezing once in a while and feeling stares and raised eyebrows at a cluttered work station made even more messy by the tissue paper motif). so i keyed in fever, cough and a running nose. my TL replied a get well soon (oh, was that guilt i felt? hmmm. naaahhhh.). great. the first thing im going to do is go back to sleep. (i couldn't get enough fo those these days.)
3 hrs ran after my sleep was disturbed by a rather disturbed tummy. ok. lunch time i guess. i went down to get some rice. the canned goods i keep in stock would do just fine for now. after forcing all the contents of the plate down my throat and drowning the taste with a glass of sprite i turned on my pc and voila! i found myself typing away in my blog (after turning on my IMs first of course).
so this is it is it?
so this is what i skipped work for and lost about 1k in my salary for. a day alone in my room with my the pc and the phone as the only means to communicate with the outside world (unless i stepped out of course). am i enjoying my self? well certainly more than if i went to work that's for sure.
a bit later after keying in a few paragraphs, my boss (errr... my other boss that is) goes OL. for my azues colleagues who read this, let's keep this to ourselves shall we? anyway, my boss has something for me to munch on. a mapping of sorts he needs for the meeting/presentation he has for his client at some later hour of the day. i take the job (dare i refuse $5 an hour? besides, it's mana after losing some pesos due to a supposed sick leave...) and ponder on a scheme for jan (that's my boss) to utilize for his presentation. something to simplify and save and overly complex wire frame. i decide to let jan paint by numbers and start working with the number ranges for the tables i'm saddled with. he gives me tables, i give him numbered items on the wire frame he can trace table items to. he gives me updated tables with bug fixes, i give him updated builds of the wire frames. we spar emails for a time. and i strain a nerve every time he wrecks my mapping (OC runs in the family... alright runs in me only then) but no matter. he does pay me so i can keep my opinions about his perfect clairvoyance to myself and my imaginary friend Puripuri.
sometime during one of our crossfires, i decide to get away yet again. and so i flag in a 2hr dinner (who eats dinner for 2hrs anyway?) and unbelievably, i was given the go to go so i went with my hubby to eat and watch a movie.
after laughing our heads of at Rock's performance at Be Cool, we grab a mocha frap(heavenly frap... that first sip is just sublime...) before heading back to my place. it's surprising how i can get a natural high from a good movie, a good converstation and especially good company (hubby here's to you... muah!).
now you might think that there isn't anything extraordinary about what transpired with my day. no surprises. no bump-ins with a long lost friend (most of the friends i have stay lost and i like them that way until life's malice entwines our paths in some happenstance meeting.. and i like it that way). in fact, what happened with my date may be the de facto date. and i guess we could all agree nothing much happened between the time i opened my eyes until now (a little digression if you please, i started the draft at after i ate lunch, worked on it some more before i went out with my hubby and now [2.37 on my clock] before i go off to sleep and face the wrath of aZEUS tomorrow). i may think that too. i may look for the fireworks, and want to feel my heart race faster and feel the weightlessness (and i honestly think that everybody does in a relationship just as everybody tries to make sense out of life. and i do i really do. and i will never stop looking for it). but the thing is, i realized with the monotony of today that the magic doesn't lie with bended knees and a proposal. nor does life's sense lie in moments that happen not so very often. life's sense lies in the ordinary everyday i live in that is made up of ordinary things, ordinary minutes, ordinary glances, ordinary conversations, and just about ordinary everythings. yet i realize, no, i know that every ordinary thing, minute, glance and conversation is just a bit different from the last one and will probably be minutely different from the next one. it's the same everyday i have but not quite no...
this is the same wednesday i've woken up to since i knew the names of the days of the week. the same wednesday i play cops and robbers with in elementary. the same wednesday i had started my menstral cycle. the same wednesday i graduated from highschool with pins clinging to my dress... the same wednesday i really fell in love with for the first time. the same wednesday three years later i parted ways with someone i really cared about but no longer loved. the same wednesday i fell in love again. and the wednesday after that. and the next. the same wednesday i woke up to just a few hours ago and decided to have to myself. the same wednesday that will inevitably turn into a thursday. but not quite no. this is just a fraction different from the others.
and i like my life ordinary. if ordinary means feeling like this everytime.
ps. because of a natural given to me by my hubby and a shared mocha frap over very very good conversation, i'll skip proofreading this post. hell, i'll even skip the spell check just to show you how good of a mood i am. ilycud....