Monday, November 21, 2005

i miss me. i miss the things i used to do more so...

  • daydreaming as i sit placidly and fix a look of interest in my face at the lesson at hand when i actuality what i really was engrossed in was things that were otherworldly. i spent most of my hs classroom time doing this that's it's almost mental how i got to the honor's list everytime.
  • my room with its polished floors, potpourri smell,french windows and how the immaculate white curtains would glow at 4.30 in the afternoon.
  • how wind would make my chimes sound everytime i took a read in our balcony or every time i wanted to gaze at orion's belt or the sound of my guitar's strings as i plucked them one by one. the very same balcony that i have almost broken a bone from in a haphazard leap out of whimsy.
  • the long drives i would take on weekends by myself or with my friends just to get the future off my mind.
  • going to my cousin's house which was just beside ours.
  • berlin, my duschand and her misfit of a husband lennin.
  • the busy-ness of the living room or the library as my brothers and i would huddle watching a movie or a basketball game.
  • how my brother would call me to consult what ever it is that he's got on

in more ways than one, i am a long way from home. for five years i haven't stayed more than a month in my room that i fear that it has forgotten the memory of me. i fear that time has whisked away the secrets ang magic i shared with my room.

there's nothing wrong with what i have now. but good memories stay inside you. no matter how far you get. no matter how old you get.