people are blessed with a myriad of emotions to match every possible event. and i guess, we can only be as intuitive as to be sensitive about the things they tell us (this is under the assumption that there is absence of any external influence). listen to the wisdom of your body. or more appropriately in this case, to the wisdom of your emotions. i am not saying that we should be a slave to our emotions... there is a world of difference after all, between being a slave to one's emotions and being a willing slave to it. sense after all, is not as easily susceptible to corruption as sensibility. there are lies that you can make yourself believe in, i agree. but only after you've told them to yourself over and over and over again and only to a certain extent. that transition of disbelief to belief may come or it may never come at all. our emotions offer us no real guarantee except the truth.
although emotions we cannot live without, we can only do as much as to wish we could do without some - loneliness, anguish, brokenness. but life always did drive a hard bargain - it either offers you the full length of the ride or refuses you the ride at all. no maybes and devoid of any gray area. we bask in our glories as it be but human nature, but we must also respect those that have fallen. and although demystification is not anyone's cup of tea by preference, i think life never meant for us to have more than but a healthy dose of it. healthy - enough just to learn and not be crippled. yes, there are things that enfeeble us. but never make the mistake that you are the only victim. because you are not so special to be the only one. the world does not and will not stop for our grief.
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
i should know. i was once the unchosen (if you're in doubt, read my post sweetest goodbye). and i can tell you it was no holiday. i was maimed for 6 dragging months and until now, i still haven't figured out what it was exactly that gave me the strength to rise above the flames of my demise. i guess i should consider myself lucky. not only was i able to get my life back to motion, i got it back in full when (yes, with the birds and the bees) when i realized that i had not loved in vain. i am thankful because not all people have what i have. and even if it came knowing that it left someone else in pain, i harbor no shame. but make no mistake in thinking that i am proud of what transpired. it was something that just had to be. and if you delegate to yourself the role of the necessary casualty then so be it. but don't think so highly of yourself and think that we spare any more thoughts on you because we don't.. the day is only as good as long as the sun hasn't set. the moment night creeps in, it will be but a memory..
it seems i have kept my silence far too long for the wind has been stained with echoes loosed by bitterness. i hope that the next time my voice reaches you, it will be of such clarity that you will understand. do not test my patience. don't ever make the mistake to think that you are the only one that knows how to rage LEAH..
believe that the only consolation that we have in this life is to have as much happiness wherever and whenever we could find it (no trace of hedonism here mind you). and if in our quest for utopia, we wounded you, both of us give you no less than the sincerest of our apologies. but make no mistake that we are in this relationship for any reason of lesser quality than love. don't be so hasty as to make assumptions about me and my reasons because you don't know me and won't ever know me. if in your bitterness, you refuse to accept this, know that you are only making it harder for yourself. i apologize if what i say may burn, but the words you loosen make me think twice of the integrity of your promise. this will be the last time that i will consider you as a person of dignity. one more bitter post from you and you shall be no more.